what would jesus do?

I was able to have a a conversation with a family member about this topic over the long weekend.  It was a heart felt talk that could have lasted for hours.

We are the only Jesus that many people will see. Our behavior could lead someone closer to Christ or away from Him. That's a heavy responsibility, but it is one we agreed to accept. We are His body - His hands and His feet. We have the privilege to act in His behalf. This includes loving those that are difficult to love, those that follow a different path, and those that  aren't "like us." If we take a look at who Jesus reached out to, it wasn't the shiny, happy people. It was the thieves, the lost, the sinners, the prostitutes, the unrighteous. He came to save all men. I'm glad he came for a very imperfect me.

the thick of thin things.

It is very rare that I allow myself to stop. I feel that I am always on the go whether it be with kids, work, school, church or just keeping our home running smoothly. The times that I do find a break in all the busy-ness, I usually feel guilty about taking time to relax and do nothing. That guilt is so overwhelming that it pushes me back into momentum and I find things to keep working on.

My husband travels once a month for work, and my sons visit their dad overnight twice a week. When I find myself with a night alone in the house, just the dog and me, I go into overdrive. I start an organization project, I deep clean the house, I study, I workout...I do anything but sit still. That constant feeling of being on a timer is something I just can't shake.

Yesterday I found myself in that very spot. No husband or kids at home and I started thinking of what I needed to do. I checked my to do list, got into "go" gear (ha, ha - so Charlie Sheen!) when this unfamiliar feeling came over me. I'm not sure why, but I got the urge to do nothing. I only walked the dog, then settled in for a night of nothing. It was great. That nagging guilt I usually have to keep going didn't make an appearance. I was able to rest and renew myself and I know that when my family returns home, I will be a better wife and mom for having given myself a break.

I started to think about how we all rush through life with our to do lists (and I DO LOVE to do lists!) but we rarely stop to be still and soak up the moment. Folding laundry instead of playing Legos, working on a research paper instead of talking with loved ones...are we missing something? I want to stop being caught up in the thick of thin things and I want to be present. I want to stop and look at my sons when they talk to me instead of saying "MMhmm", I want to give my husband my undivided attention, I want to make my friends and family feel like they are the most interesting person I have ever spoken to, I want to quit checking my phone and start noticing sunsets. I want to learn to number my days. I want to be still.

It may be difficult at first. I will have to work hard to keep my mind from wandering to emails needing to sent or what to make for dinner, but I am determined to be present and enjoy the journey instead of always speeding up to reach my destination.

trust.

I worry about my boys alot. They are smart, obedient, strong young men, but I can whip myself into a frenzy worrying if I'm doing enough to ensure their futures will be what they deserve. Today was one of those days. I took a long walk to be alone with my thoughts and poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father about all my worry I have been feeling for these two precious boys. He quietly reminded me that they were His children long before they were mine and He will take care of them. I just have to do my best. I found this poem too and it further reinforced His plan for our lives, and we need to be reminded of all the good that is in our day to day even when it can look pretty messy and chaotic in the trenches.

My life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors,
He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow,
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not 'til the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
in the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
He knows, He loves, He cares,
nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
who leave the choice with Him.

why buy the cow?

I have had the opportunity to meet some beautiful women lately that have had a commonality and it breaks my heart. These women are all very young, early twenties, and seem to have a hole in their heart that just can't be filled. They are starved for family, clinging to the men in their life that offer a glimpse of what home and marriage and stability looks like. They are "playing house" in real life, "pretending" in every sense of the word to be married. They write cute status updates on Facebook about their date with their "hubby" or having a quiet night with "the family". You can see so plainly that they crave a home life, and they dream of a day when their prince charming will sweep them off their feet and marry them. But it doesn't happen. It won't.

These girls are wonderful girlfriends, doing all the right things and striving to please their boyfriends. They go out of their way to baby their men, love them after a long day at work, care for other women's children, and willingly put their own needs and their feelings on the back burner of life. They live each day ultimately unfulfilled. It almost seems to be an epidemic.
I wish I could write a letter to them. I want to tell them that they are valuable and that they have worth far more than they know. I want to tell them that it is okay to walk away and wait for the man that will treat them like the princess they are. I want to tell them that they are full of promise and hope and that they don't have to give their love away. It's their most selfless gift and it should be saved for a man of honor. I want to tell them that they are a daughter of God and He sees them as they are: priceless. I want these young girls to know that love is reciprocated, it accepts us for who we are, it is patient, and it's not afraid to commit.

If this is you, you are beautiful. You are valuable. You deserve more.

rock star.

Is it just me, or is there a definite resemblance here?

good morning.

Last night, the boys played a great baseball game. Both Jeb and Griffin were focused and played to the best of their ability. It was a blast. I adore going to their games, and I love to watch them have fun doing something they love. What I don't love is getting home at 8pm, and working on homework until 9:30 at night. That's just way too late. So when it reached about 9- still too late- I decreed that the night was to be wrapped up and homework would have to wait until morning.

So this morning, my little zombies dutifully walked downstairs and sat with empty stares on their faces. What to do? There was a ton of homework to finish and a spelling test to study for and these guys looked like they were ready to conk out on me. Here was my plan: grab a big blanket and cuddle for a few minutes, then grab a bowl of our favorite organic granola and milk for each of them (brain food as Jeb calls it), and start plowing through it all. And ya know what? We got it all done. We were a little late getting to class, but we got it all done and the boys were smiling and joking around when I dropped them off. That's what counts. It was a good morning. Mission accomplished. It must have been the granola.

Blessed are those that can GIVE

without remembering

and receive without forgetting.

Have a great Thursday!

lists.

I have always been a list maker, even when I was a kid. There has always been a constant "to do" list in my purse and it actually has grown into a "to do" notebook these days.

Today's list?

1. Find homes for two sets of buyers
2. Transfer my real estate license to another broker (good move...more on that later)
3. Fit in some Census work (yep, I'm doing that part time)
4. Attend Griffin's field day at school
5. Schedule church responsibilities
6. Clean house
7. Finish the monster Nevada Quest project with Jeb so he can turn it in Friday- it's like a thesis! HUGE!
8. Follow up on my 5 short sale files still pending- short sales should be LONG sales!
9. Laundry
10. Errands
11. Pay bills

What's on your list today? Are you like me and have a never ending checklist that you keep adding to?

what you don't see.

Have you ever felt like you had a lot of catching up to do? Like your friends and neighbors are better looking, better moms, have cleaner houses, a more successful business, and make Martha Stewart look like an amateur? Better yet, how about those girls that have like 9 kids and still wear a size 0? They just pop one out and they leave the hospital in their size 2 501's. The article below made alot of sense to me, and made me laugh. We all need to keep this in mind.

What You Don't See

by Tiffany Gee Lewis

What you don't see, when we all march into church on Sunday morning, is the chaos of the morning that happened just 10 minutes earlier.What you don't see, when you look at my four little boys in their suits, is that the 7-year-old is wearing Dad's socks because we couldn't find his. And they go all the way up to his knees.What you don't see, when I pull out the lovely quiet book I made a few years back, is that below it, in my church bag, are five baggies of smashed raisins because I haven't cleaned out the bag for months.When you enter my house, with its shining entryway, you don't see the three loads of laundry dumped on my bed. Or the dirty pots I stashed in the oven. And you will never see the interior of my minivan, not until I find the time to vacuum it out.
When you admire the hand-sewn pajamas I made for all the kids, we don't talk about the three nights I got no sleep to make those.If you look on my blog, you will see pictures of homemade chicken noodle soup with homemade noodles. You won't see my confession to popping in a frozen pizza THREE times last week for dinner.Or the night we ate Cheerios for dinner, dry, because we were out of milk. There is a zoom on my camera for a reason. There is a delete button for a reason.I don't think we're all playing a part. We naturally want to put our best selves forward, so that is what other people see. They don't see what's going on behind the scenes. I like to think that good parenting is like a duck on the water. What you see is the gentle, almost effortless gliding, not the furious paddling that happens underneath.I keep a mental list of about ten people I want to stalk by camera, from morning to night, to see how they do it all. Are they up at 4 a.m.? Can they survive on three hours of sleep? Do they have a housekeeper? Because I drop balls just as fast as I can grab them. My intentions are of pure gold, but they come out as tinkling brass, at best.I started a blog last fall. I dragged my feet into it for many reasons. One of the main reasons I hesitated was I didn't want to be another contributor to the cyberspace guiltosphere out there. Especially where mothers are concerned, do we need one more reason to feel guilty?Because from the looks of things, other families are happier, their houses are cleaner, their marriages are better, their clothes are more stylish and their craftiness is even more crafty. Their lives are perfectly lovely, while my kids are running around screaming in their diapers.My worst fears were confirmed last week when I got an e-mail from a friend who asked, "How do you do it all? Your column, your blog, all the things you do with your children? You're amazing!"I looked around at my house, at the six bins of winter clothes waiting to be transported to the garage, at the sewing projects stacked against the wall, at the state of the toothpaste crusted to the sink ... I let things go, a lot of things.A spanking-clean house is not a high priority for me. I'm a big believer in mud and its importance in a child's life. The time I take to write is time away from scrubbing that bathroom sink. I would rather read with my kids than shop at the mall, so I am certainly not up-to-date on the latest styles. I've been listening to the same music for 20 years because I can't seem to keep up with the latest music scene. And I require a lot of sleep.We all have priorities. For some, it is keeping a spotless house, and they are good at it. For others, it is writing, or exercising, or serving others. And yes, there are some who seem to do it all, the Benjamin Franklins of the world. I tell myself I don't have to be them. And also, Benjamin Franklin was not much of a family man. Even he let things go.What we don't see, when we look at each other on Sunday, or on blogs, or in our shiny kitchens, is that we all have different talents and unique situations. I tell my kids all the time: Life is not a race. The only person you are competing against is yourself.What we forget to see, when admiring others, is our own personal finish line.

motherhood is divine and beautiful.